Mothering with an open heart

Mothering with an open heart and a love that is more than love is what I embody. It is what I was born to do. Today with my high expectations, I went down hard, and it hurt. These past (almost) four months I have been trying to live up to the "you make it look easy" expectation, and today I failed. I failed because mothering three little ones is everything, but easy, and I should know better. The simple reality is that mothering is hard, period. Today I am admitting that having three little ones is hard. It's been really hard. I am working harder than I have ever worked in my life. I have given up conveniences, to create experiences, and in the midst of tears, diapers, and difficult moments, I am trying to make it look easy. Today was extremely hard to feel thankful and grateful ( and I was feeling so guilty because my feelings picked a wrong day to feel everything I was feeling specially because a lot of people lost their loved ones in the Las Vegas mass shooting) because when you're physically and mentally exhausted you can't think clear. I did what I felt I needed to do. I told my husband I couldn't do it, took off my " I can do it all" hat, and slept for 6 hours straight! Lack of sleep and trying to live up to a certain expectation did this to me. These feelings didn't just show up today, they've been an accumulation of different things that lead up to this. Maybe had I paid attention to them earlier on I could have prevented today's breakdown, maybe I needed this break down? What I know for sure is that there will be more moments like these because I am only human. But I have learned to give myself the support I need, to admit when it is hard and not try to cover it up. I want to continue to have more good parenting moments, work at it, day after day. Today I wasn't the mother my children needed, but tomorrow is a new start. "I am an amazing mother, and I don't have to do it all to be amazing"m.l .....

Ps. All of our lives are different, and it is important to remember that. The number of children you have does not determine if you are allowed to break down or not. 1, 2, 3 or 4, YOU are allowed. This little message is for my mommas who have one child, and or are new mothers. I want you to know that YOU are inspiring, you have started a beautiful journey that is your very own, and you are allowed to "complain"/have difficult moments. With every one of those moments you will learn something and will come out stronger. 

"One day at a time, & enjoy the journey"

Mucho amor, 

Martha Castro

Our Sweet Surprise: Luke Emiliano

Our sweet Luke Emiliano has been here for almost two months, and he is just the most perfect addition to our family. We are still getting adjusted, but things are going rather smoothly. I wished I could have shared this sooner, but as you can imagine it's been busy. As many of you know Luke was born by cesarean. The day before my scheduled csection everything went wrong. To start, Liam had randomly developed a fever of 102, and had to be taken to urgent care. He also had a contagious rash. That same morning I had my last doctors appointment at 9am, and because my husband needed to take Liam to urgent care, I had to drive myself to my last appointment. I was 39 weeks, and super uncomfortable. I felt overwhelmed because things weren't going how I had planned them. My husband had to borrow a car to take Liam to urgent care since we only had one car to transport the kids(this is not an issue anymore since we got our mini van). I had no choice but to drive myself to my last appointment. I also had received the news that if my platelet count was still low I would have to be put under general anesthesia, something that wasn't part of my "birth plan". I was mentally exhausted by the time I left the doctors office. I wanted to just sit in the car and cry because crying feels good. The day before my cesection I was suppose to be relaxed. I was suppose to get a mani and pedi,  and enjoy some quality time with my party of 4, but instead we were separated, overwhelmed, and anxious. On my way home my friend Liz had done the sweetest gesture. She offered to treat me to a mani and pedi, and I couldn't have been more grateful for sweet friends like her. The day slowly started getting better, and the feeling of being overwhelmed started fading away. Eddie got home with Liam from urgent care and they had ruled out any kind of infection, and the doctor didn't think the rash was related to the fever. We were relieved to say the least.  That June 8th we ended our day with thankful and grateful hearts. 

June 9th:

My csection was sceduled for 2pm, but my doctor wanted me to be there at 11:00 am. he was hoping the operating room was running on time and hopefully get me in there earlier, and he did.

Our sweet surprise Luke Emiliano was born by csection on Friday, June 9, 2017 at 2:34pm. He weighted 8 lbs 4oz. 

Eddie was able to accompany me in the operating room, and has actually been by my side with all three csections. It's truly been a blessing to have had him in there to support me, and snap these pictures. 

During the surgery I was wide awake and everything went smooth. If you've had a csection before you know that the best moment is when you hear that little cherub cry. I can recall every single detail from the surgery. The staff made me feel so comfortable during the operation and for some miraculous reason my platelets had gone up. I was meant to be awake again for the third time. Yes, this was my third csection and could have been my last. All  3 of my csection experiences have been beautiful and painful, but this one made me realize that perhaps I can't do it again. 

The recovery during my stay at the hospital was the hardest and most painful. We spent 3 nights at the hospital and almost 4 days. Staying there those 3 nights was the best decision I could have made. I needed the attentive care.  I experienced the most pain on day 2, and I cried like a baby.

Day 2-June 10th

The first half of June 10th was a day to remember. Liam and Mila both arrived to meet their baby brother along with my family.

Liam and Mila were to excited to meet baby Luke. Liam right away wanted to carry him in his arms. He is such an amazing big brother, and we couldn't be more proud of him. Mila surprisingly was ecstatic as well. When I saw the three of them together for the first time I felt an overwhelmig feeling of excitement and magic all at the same time.  Giving birth to these three little miracles is truly magic. The pain on the other hand not so much.

By the evening 24 hours had passed, the visitors were gone, and they had removed the catheter, so that meant I was going to start walking and using the restroom. That's when things got complicated. The walking part was not hard but trying to get out of that bed almost felt impossible. The pain was real, and nothing I had felt before. I'm naturally tough, and have a high pain tolerance, but this pain was excruciating. Not only did my incision hurt, but I was also suffering from gas pain and it was the most painful pain ever. You feel it on your side of your abdomen, and all the way up to your shoulder. I couldn't breathe or move. Luckily, with a lot of walking and some chamomile tea I started passing gas and soon was relieved from that pain. That night was rough, but luckily Luke was adjusting to the real world just fine.

He was eating, pooping and peeing often, and by day 3 I was ready to go home. I was really missing Liam and Mila. 

Day 3

I woke feeling a little better because that morning I pooped!! Tmi, but this is real stuff!! I was still struggling getting out of the bed. I also don't remember my other incisions hurting this much. That day my cousin and friends visited. They brought us some yummy donuts and snacks,  and they got to meet Luke. It also gave Eddie an opportunity go home to get the carseat and shower. I was so ready to go home too. As you can imagine I was missing my babies like crazy, and they were missing me.  Specially my sweet little Mila. Although she was in great hands(with my sil) she still needed momma. I am so thankful and grateful for the care and love she received during my absence. She couldn't have been in better hands. As for Liam, he stayed with my parents and sisters, and of course they showered him with lots of love and toys. I was so anxious leaving him because he had a fever of 102 and a rash, and I have never not been there when my children are sick. I had nothing to worry about because they did an excellent job. By the time he was picked up he no longer had a fever and his rash was almost gone. Overall, Liam and Mila were well taken cared of and they couldn't have been in better hands. 

Day 4 came and we were was ready to go. Still in pain and continuing to take those strong narcotics. They really helped ease the pain, and I am so glad I said yes. I was very proud that I did not take any meds after my last two csections, but I am also very proud that this time around I did what I had to do to function and feel better. We were discharged by that afternoon and we were ready to go. We were beyond excited to be a party of 5, The Castro's Party of 5!

NOTE:Like I mentioned earlier, this is in fact my third csection and the only way I have experience bringing life into this world. To me, this is magical, this is birth. I know there is a lot of stigma attached to csections, and a lot women feel disappointment for having one, but we can not forget that this IS BIRTH. The moment your baby is born is the most breathtakingly, magical moment you will ever experience, and it absolutely does not matter how they get here. Csections can still be a joyful and empowering birth experience, don't you ever forget that!

TODAY: I am 6 weeks postpartum and I am feeling great. My body is healing and I am in no rush to lose the baby weight. I am eating well, and exclusively breastfeeding Luke. I am giving myself the time I need. It takes 10 months for your body to grow your baby and they say to allow your body a good 10 months to get back to normal. Be kind to yourself and know that a lot of these changes are temporary. Love your new body. It just did something really amazing.

XOXO, 

Martha Castro

Supermamás Social'17

What a gorgeous day it was for the second annual Supermamás Social'17 held at La Plaza de Cultura y Artes in Los Angeles, CA. This family event was brought to you by our favorite store, yes Target.

For those that are not familiar with who the Supermamás are, here's a quick little info about them:

Who are the Supermamás and what do they do?

The Supermamás are two sisters who are mothers, girl bosses, wives, & BIG dreamers: Bricia (left) and Paulina Lopez(right). These women are behind the successful Latino podcast: Supermamás.  They started the podcast back in July of 2015, and recently reached their 100th episode. Paulina and Bricia are doing big things in the community, and I have enjoyed watching all of their success. Two humbled, Latina mothers who had a vision, and decided to go for it. That is who the Supermamás are. In addition to their weekly podcast they put together this yearly event(Supermamás Social) that celebrates motherhood and brings women together for a fun,relaxing judgement free day.  They are also restaurant owners and public figures in the Los Angeles area. To learn more about the Supermamás please visit their website and don’t forget to listen to their podcast. Supermamás Podcast

My family and I arrived a shortly after they opened the gates, and luckily parking was not an issue, and in my opinion worth the $15 we paid. Upon arriving we were greeted by the Supermamás ambassadors who I am assuming were volunteers. They checked you in, and handed you a goodie bag. These girls were the sweetest!

The social had so many fun stations for the entire family. From nursing cabanas (sponsored by Ergo) to a self care beauty concierge(brought to you by target) and a Mama cabana brought to you by Northgate Market. 

A bubble village for the little ones.

A soccer clinic & reading corner that I didn't get to photograph.

A card making station presented by Target

Multiple photo booths that I totally took advantage of. Liam and Mila enjoyed being in the spotlight. 

Vendors such as Munchkin who were there introducing their new grass fed formula. We took a mini survey and were able to get a sample.  Lollaland who makes the most modern and fun baby/toddler goods. We've been a fan since Liam was a little boy, and now Mila got her own cup. Hanna owner of Lollaland was also part of the panel. RaggedyTiff who sells the most creative, folk-cultural inspired pieces. If you're looking for one of a kind, handmade items she is your girl, and the guest panelist Jacqui Saldana, Melissa Fumero, Natalie Alcala, and Hanna Lim who were there to speak and provide some insight on self care and being a mom boss. 

We were surprised with Mariachi (Mariachi Divas)!

Special appearances by Rosalyn Sanchez and Eric Winter who did a special reading of their new book, and sadly I didn't get any pictures.

 Food, treats and drinks, lots of drinks.

Below you can see Liam enjoying a cotton candy from LoveSwirls and those TODOVERDE drinks are amazing!

The Supermamás social was the perfect day to celebrate motherhood, to make new friends, and truly be proud of the mother you are. The Supermamás sisterhood Paulina and Bricia have created is here to stay, and I am filled with so much joy because I am part of this sisterhood. This event was beautiful and exceeded my expectations. The Supermamás have an amazing team that helped them make this possible. Thank you to everyone that was part of this team and created magic for all of us to enjoy!

my mama tribe<3

I was lucky to have found my tribe when my first born was just a few months old, and I love them dearly! This event is extra special because we get to experience it together: Susie, myself, Liz, Cindy & Mary.

& I continue meeting new mommas who are giving it their all in this beautiful journey. It was an honor meeting you all!

Veronica Popovic @veronapop99, Liz @rosie1966olph, Alexandria, always so nice to see you! Vanessa Torres @lifeoftorres, Christina @oc_mommyof2, Diane Castaneda @dianecastaneda, I know we've been following each other for quite sometime, so I feel like I know you already, but it was a pleasure meeting you in person, Brenda Campos @_brendah21_, Nadia Mendez, so happy you decided to join us, and our SuperPapasitos: Eduardo, Bobby, Danny, & Fernie, we wouldn't be theSupermamás that we are without you guys!

*Not in the pictures but thank you for taking your time to say hi: Blanca Kane: @blanca.kane, @mommy2_sj_sam, Evelyn Gomes @evygomez, Daniela Gomez @danielagomez23, @mamamia

To end the beautiful day Paulina and her family revealed the gender of their baby.

It’a a girl!

Thank you Paulina for sharing this special moment with us!

If you are interested in attending next year's social, stay tuned because the Supermamás Social’18 is already in the works!

Also, thank you for taking your time to read this. This is my first post event blog post, and I know I'm forgetting to mention a few details. I also didn't photograph all the vendors and few of the stations. ALL pictures were taken with my iphone 6plus, and hopefully that can change soon. Please feel free to comment and or like. I would be more than happy to answer any further questions. 

Note: This was not a sponsored post. Opinions in this post are Martha’s alone.

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See you soon Supermamás, xoxo Martha Castro

Outfit Details:

My dress is from Boohoo, no longer available

Mila's dress and hat from Zara

Liam's short sleeve button down and rustic bermuda shorts from Zara

Happy Mother's Day

We all know there is no way to be a perfect mother, and that your children were given to YOU.  They are YOUR babies, YOUR miracles. God gave them to YOU! Motherhood is not a competition, I think we can all agree with that, and we are definitely not winging it. We are actually trying very hard to do our best because they deserve the best, and what I mean by best is not material things but moments, memories, & love. One of my goals is for my children is to know that I love them dearly. My feelings will always be clear to them. We will practice connection, always!  Sometimes parents don’t make their feelings clear, they assume that their children know the love they have for them, but that will not be our story. I don’t ever want my children to assume they are loved,  my children will know they are loved. They will know that they are the greatest thing that ever happened to me and that this journey continuous to be the most powerful growth experience.

Happy Mother’s Day to every single one of you that has taken on this journey, and is embracing all the rawness motherhood has to offer. I had no idea it would be this much. I had no idea I could handle it. I had no idea how beautiful it would actually be. Motherhood completed me, and gave me what I had been missing. I am because they are, & this is MY motherhood!

Tshirt: @ezraandeli

Flat top boater straw hat: Target

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To all the women who are hurting today, I know it hurts. Eveything hurts, your mind, your heart, your body. Although you might feel alone, and forgotten, you are not! I see you and I honor you!

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